so...it's been exactly a year since i graduated *nod nod*
the 11th will mark exactly one year since my grandmother passed away.

so far, this week hasn't been treating me well - rather, just a lot hasn't been treating me well. BUT don't want to bore you all with negativity.

i guess just looking back, there's so much i miss.

on top of that, looking foreword...everything feels...'stuck'.
everything's stuck, and everyone's frozen, everyone's broken to quote Switchfoot, who's music seems to word my thoughts and feelings exactly, especially over the past few months.

i'll be starting summer classes in july: psychology and drawing. kinda excited. need to buy my books still though.

i suppose that about sums it up. sorry i don't have much art up; i can't seem to be able to draw anything. even my sketches are big scribbles of fail.

honestly, to sum up the way i've been feeling these past few months: ghd;afkldsfjsdalfsd. *nod nod* chyeah.

i think the only highlights have been when i've been going to 's house on fridays and hanging out with people...just getting away. and finally dumping my heart out at one of our sleepovers...haven't done that in a l-o-n-g time (mostly because it's so hard to do. like crying. i've wanted to seriously cry for a long time, but i can't). and going to our friend's wedding. though as happy a time it was, it's easy for all us singles to wish and long. *sigh* oi.

i think my dev writing thing "how it all spilled out" (or however it's titled) explains a lot too.

SO ANYWAY

i hope you all haven't had it as rough. sorry if i sound pathetic and depressing. i really don't do this often. and it doesn't nearly compare to the rant i wanted to type up, but i don't like to bother people with personal affairs. besides, i think it'd be one long journal. your eyes would fall out halfway through, and i'd hate to be the cause of such a devastaing devastation.


i wanna wake up kicking and screaming
i wanna wake up kicking and screaming
i wanna know my heart's still beating, it's beating
i'm bleeding ~ Awakening

there's gotta be something more
than what i'm living for ~ Something More (St. Augustine's Confession)